(Watch Me) Body You (Run This Town Book 2) Page 13

  She’d killed Rodney for trying to leave her, and snuffed out Kimberly’s life because she screamed too loud. But she kept Is safe. Because she loved him, she’d whispered.

  “Come.” She patted her lap. “You want mommy to brush your hair?’ She frowned. “I don’t have a brush.”

  And there’s the fact that he had hardly any hair on his head. “No.” He caught her wrist before she could touch his face again. “I want the truth, for once.” He was trying not to lose himself, his temper, his control. Doing his damnedest not to spook her, but that shit wasn’t going to work. “Tell me why you spared me. Why you kept me alive.”

  Confusion darkened her eyes for a second then she laughed, loud and joyfully. “Silly boy.” She shook her head, chuckling. “Because you’re mine.” She lowered her head and whispered, “And because you’re just like me.” She lifted her head, jerking her chin toward the men at the door. “They don’t get it. How good it feels to give in to our darker impulses. To take.” Her lips curved wickedly. “To not give a fuck.” She clasped a hand over her mouth, eyes widening in regret. “Sorry, baby. Mommy knows better than to use that kind of language in your presence.”

  Is closed his eyes. He wanted to believe her words were wrong. He wanted to believe they were nothing alike. But he’d be lying to himself. The life he led, the violence he’d gravitated to the instant he had the choice.

  She was his mother. He was her son. He opened his eyes and gazed into her smiling face. “What was my name before you took me?”

  The smile disappeared. “Israel, mommy said never speak of that again. Don’t make me angry.” She touched a shaking hand to her graying hair, pulled back into a short ponytail. “Don’t make mommy angry.”

  “Tell me,” he demanded. “Tell me who I used to be before you stole me, before you destroyed me.”

  Her face turned hard, implacable. “You know how I feel about disobedience, Israel. My love for you won’t save you from the discipline needed to ensure you follow the rules I’ve—”

  He jumped to his feet and started walking away. Not that he made it very far. His mother jumped onto his back, and he staggered under her weight and the shock. The guards rushed to them, but damn if his mother was letting go.

  Her nails clawed at his skin, slicing into his neck as she shrieked his name. Is crashed to the floor as the guards fought with her, trying to get her off him. He lost himself in the scuffle for a minute, his ten-year-old mind journeying back to that dark apartment in Bushwick. Someone had called the cops to complain about the noise coming from the Jermaine’s place. The police showed up minutes after the deed was done and Jacqueline barricaded them, her and Is, in the bathroom.

  She’d clung to him, her hold tight, painful, choking the breath from his ten-year-old lungs. She’d cried, her tears wetting his forehead as she promised to die for him. Because she loved him. Because he was hers.

  Love. He’d seen it for what it was then, a painful red. A heart-wrenching red-black circling the bathtub drain. Love stole his life. What kinda thing was love, to destroy lives so completely?

  “My son!” Jacqueline’s shouts shook him free, mostly, of his past.

  Is lifted his head. She was on the other side of the room, trapped between the two guards, reaching for him. Face wet, eyes pleading with him. She was always reaching for him, wasn’t she?

  Is scrambled to his feet and staggered. The cuts she’d made on his skin hurt, burned. He went to her. She was his mother. He was her son, so he went to her, let her touch his face, let her wipe his tears.

  “My son,” she whispered reverently, a small smile chasing away the storm in her eyes. “You’re so grown up, so handsome.” She looked up at him from her lashes. “I can’t wait for you to give me grandbabies.” She cackled and clapped her hands. “They’ll be so gorgeous.” Her eyes went dreamy. “Everyone will envy me.”

  Is shook his head. “There’ll be no grandchildren, Jacqueline. I’m in love with another man.” The words burst from him, intended to be a weapon against her, but they shredded him instead. The truth, and he’d spoken it to the last person he’d intended to.

  She dropped her hands to her sides, face blank. Then, head cocked to the side, she blinked slowly, eyes twinkling. “We can adopt.”

  Is turned around and walked out.

  * * * *

  Took him two days to shake off that visit. Two days to clear his mind. Nothing ever came from his visits with his mother except dreams filled with red and a ten year-old’s loss. He wanted to know where he came from, but it was impossible. Back then the cops had searched high and low for his birth parents.

  No one ever came forward. Silence.

  Before he gave himself to Reggie, before he went that route, he’d wanted to know for sure that he wasn’t like her. Wasn’t like Jacqueline. But he had nothing. Who was he? Reggie wanted him, but how could Is love him back if he didn’t know who he was?

  He needed Reggie, though. Needed him for clarity, sanity, so three days after he saw his mother, Is went to Reggie. The entire time Is was praying, fucking praying that it wasn’t too late. That he hadn’t made the ultimate pussy move. He did his business and he did research. Lots and lots of research.

  Gay porn was…enlightening and more than a little intimidating. It did cement some things in his mind. Namely that he wanted Reggie. Beyond that, he had nothing. No answers.

  He shuffled his feet in the silent hallway, listening to the sound echo before he lifted a hand and knocked on Reggie’s door. His heart had found a permanent place in his throat and his palms were sweaty as hell. Terror would do that.

  When he heard no movement, he knocked again. The door was yanked open a few seconds later. Is blinked.

  A woman stood there. A skinny, pretty red-bone with shoulder length hair dyed blonde, wearing nothing but one of Reggie’s shirts—Is easily recognized it—bare feet and a smile.

  “Hi. You one of Reggie’s friends?”

  He dropped his hand, fisting them. This, he hadn’t anticipated this. “Yeah. Where is he?”

  “Shower.” She smiled up him, all brown eyes and innocence. He couldn’t be mad at her. She had no idea what she’d done. What he’d lost. What she’d gained.

  He nodded dumbly. “Tell him— Tell him Is came by.” He turned away.

  “Leaving already?”

  He froze when he heard Reggie’s voice. Don’t turn around. Don’t— He turned around. Reggie stood behind the woman in the doorway, a towel around his waist, brown skin soaked as if he’d just stepped out of the shower.

  “I didn’t want to interrupt.” Is cast a surreptitious glance at the woman who was staring at him way too hard. “We’ll talk later.”

  “No. We talk now.” Reggie’s tone was firm, leaving no room for Is to argue.

  Did he want to argue?

  “I’ll just leave you two alone.” The woman ducked out of the apartment in the shirt that came down to mid-thigh on her. “I’ll be back for my clothes tomorrow, Reggie.” She blew him a kiss, threw Is a smile, and walked off down the quiet hallway with a wave.

  Is stared after her.

  “Inside.”

  He went inside, because that was where he wanted to be and when Reggie locked the door behind him, Is swung to face him. “Did you fuck her?”

  Anger flashed in Reggie eyes. “Which answer do you want to hear the most?” He sidled close enough for Is to feel the coolness coming from the water still on his skin. “Yes means I’m done pining for you. No says I’m still waiting even though I know it’s never gonna happen.” He grabbed Is by the jaw, fingers tight, biting. “Which one cuts deepest, Is?”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Anger and desperation fueled the heat crackling down Reggie’s spine. He pinched Is’ jaw, chest heaving, fighting a losing battle with control. “Which answer sours your belly, makes you want to hit someone?” he snarled.

  Is’ facial expression didn’t change, but his eyes did. They went darker, blacker. “Answer the questio
n.”

  “Or what, huh?” Reggie leaned in. “You’ll hurt me, more than you already have?”

  “Reggie, I didn’t mean—”

  “I’m done.” Reggie released him abruptly and stepped back, one hand in the air, the other grabbing on to the edges of the towel around his waist. He was hard, but he refused to acknowledge it. “Just like you, Is. I’m done.” He stalked away, to his bedroom.

  Behind him Is’ footfalls were fast and heavy. Reggie didn’t turn around.

  “You did. You slept with her.”

  Reggie whirled to face him, zeroing on the scratches on Is’ face and throat. The sight hurt so fucking bad. “Like you did Tawnya, Ilana, and every other woman who even thought to look at you?” He barked a pained laugh. “No. I didn’t sleep with her.” Not that Kezia hadn’t tried to get him between her thighs. She’d pulled out all the stops, putting everything out there in explicit detail so he’d know she wanted to get fucked.

  Is’ throat worked and he fisted his hands where he stood in the bedroom doorway. “Why not?” He cleared his throat. “Why didn’t you sleep with her?”

  Reggie stared at him. “Seriously?” He approached Is slowly. “You have the balls to ask me that, Is? As if you don’t know, as if you can’t see it? You know what this is. You have known for a very long time.”

  Is shook his head. “I didn’t—”

  Reggie’s control snapped and he lunged, fisting the front of Is’ shirt. “You didn’t what? You didn’t know that I wanted you?” His hands shook and the towel around his waist slid down his body, dropping to his feet. Is trembled against him, vibrating tremors that gave Reggie more than a passing thrill.

  This was his time.

  “That would be a lie, wouldn’t it?” He yanked Is closer. “You knew I wanted you. You knew there’s never a moment that I’m not wanting you.” Is’ lips parted, his nostrils flaring wide. Reggie shook his head. “You knew.” That tore him up. He couldn’t pinpoint when, but Is had known for a long time.

  The shredded expression on Is’ face got to Reggie, firing his blood even more

  “We couldn’t.” Is licked his lips. “There was no way to do this.” But he didn’t sound as assured as Reggie knew he could be. He didn’t sound in control.

  That belonged to Reggie. The angry pain inside burst, and he hauled off and punched Is in the jaw and when Is’ head jerked back, banging against the door frame, Reggie threw himself at him, plastering himself against Is’ front, his face at Is’ throat.

  “We’re gonna do this. There’s no other choice.” Not any more. Grabbing both sides of Is’ shirt, Reggie tore at it. Buttons popped and dropped at his feet, and Is groaned. “I have waited, Is.” The enormity of his actions, of his feelings, numbed his fingers and stuttered his heatbeat. “I have waited, grasping on to every little scrap you threw at me. I put up with those threesomes because it meant I’d be close to you. I put up with all of it.” He slid his hand down Is’ chest and torso, stopping at his belt buckle. “For you.”

  The veins in Is’ neck stood out. “You shouldn’t— That’s not what I wanted.”

  Reggie chuckled. “I know.” He brushed his knuckles over the bulge covered up by Is’ jeans. “You wanted me.” He cupped him, applying pressure. “And yet, you refused.”

  “It wasn’t a good idea.” Is bucked into Reggie’s hold.

  “Why not?” The incessant denials had Reggie seeing red. He spun Is around, shoving his face into the closest wall. “Why not, Is? To me it’s the best idea. To me it’s the only idea.” He pressed his naked cock to Is’ jean-covered ass. “I’m gonna fuck you, Is.”

  A choked sound escaped from Is. He who’d always been so in control and in command.

  “Yes.” Circling his hips, Reggie unbuckled Is’ belt with one hand, the other at his nape, holding him steady. He didn’t have to, but he tightened his grasp, making sure Is knew who was in charge. “Right here. Right now. Gonna fuck those denials right outta you.”

  Is struggled then, trying to turn around, move away from Reggie’s touch, his hold. But Reggie kept him there, a knee shoved between his legs and a firm grasp on his cock. The cock that leaked for him, throbbed for him, swelled slow for him.

  “Reggie.” Is’ tone was a faint, thready thing, his words tumbling all over themselves. “Damn it. Listen to me. Let’s talk.”

  Reggie ignored that begging, unzipping Is instead and tugging his jeans down to his thighs. He then did the same to Is’ boxers. “Like this.” He ground against Is’ naked ass, breath halting. God. “Exactly like this.”

  Is’s nails scraped against the wall. “Fuck. Jesus Christ.” But he was rubbing against Reggie, rubbing back on his cock. “Reggie.”

  It was difficult, trying to prove a point when all Reggie wanted was to sink into Is and come and come until there was nothing left. He stroked Is’ dick, fingers sliding easily through all the slickness there. All the porn videos he’d watched hadn’t prepared him for this, wanting to just rut. To ignore everything and just go with the ache in his balls, to do everything to alleviate the need crawling through his veins.

  “I’ve thought about this,” he whispered against Is’ nape. He touched Is’ balls with the tip of one finger, and Is choked out a cry. “I’ve thought about nothing but this and no matter what I imagined, nothing comes close to the reality. Nothing.” He eased his lower half away from Is and stroked his own cock before bringing it to Is’ crack.

  Is’ tremors grew more pronounced. Reggie heard his breaths, rattling pants in his chest. Fear and arousal and so many other emotions. Reggie knew it. He could relate. He rocked his hips, letting his slick cock head slide up Is’ crack.

  Is pushed back against him, seeking, but Reggie wasn’t making it that easy for him to find. He tightened his fist around Is’ cock that hadn’t gotten soft at all, and scraped his teeth at Is’ nape.

  “I want you to ask for it,” he rasped. “Fucking beg me to give it to you and I might.” He slid his thumb over Is’ crown, a familiar yet strange action. When his fingers were saturated in Is’ pre-cum, he reached behind and touched Is’ tiny hole.

  The other man bucked under him, hands flying up to hang on to the wall.

  “Beg me, Is.” Reggie circled the wrinkled entrance, teasing even though his limbs felt heavy and his vision was getting all kinds of blurry. “Ask for it and I might throw you some scraps like what you threw me when I had to listen to your eyes and your touch, because your lips could never speak the fucking truth.”

  He dipped his index finger into Is’ ass, the tight muscles contracting fiercely. Reggie swore he felt Is’ heartbeat there.

  “Beg me to love you, to give you me, because I’m not begging you.” He pushed the digit inside and the muscles grabbed him. “I’m done waiting for you to give me you.” He removed his finger, and Is cried out.

  “Oh, God.” He slapped a hand to Reggie’s flank, keeping him in place. “Don’t. Don’t.” He shook so badly that Reggie’s body vibrated with it.

  “I just— Let me love you. I just want you.” The words were breaking Reggie’s heart, burning his eyes, and Is was there, skin hot under his fingertips, body shivering. “Let me.” He dropped to his knees.

  “Reg. Fuck.” Is turned around, looking down at him with eyes that flamed, bright with fire and arousal, desire. Everything Reggie wanted to see. Everything he hoped he’d see. All the things he never thought he would.

  He was right there, a hand held out, urging Reggie to take it. But that wasn’t what he wanted, he wanted Is. Wanted to take him, drown in him. So Reggie reached out, cupped Is, his balls, heavy, cock shiny and purple, the slit gaping. He touched Is and watched his face. And when Is didn’t stop him, Reggie leaned in, pressing his face to Is’ groin, his pubes, inhaling him.

  “Fuck. Fuck.” Is was cursing, and Reggie was indeed drowning.

  He opened his mouth, tasted Is, catching a bead of pre-cum. Is’ hips jerked and he was inside Reggie’s mouth, thick cock choking him, gagg
ing him. Is tried to pull away, but Reggie wasn’t having it. He might never have this again. He needed to be there, knees getting bruised on the floor, body convulsing as he choked on Is. On him. His taste. Bitter yet salty, a weird combo. Is bucked and grasped the back of Reggie’s head. Reggie let him, he let him, nails raking down the back of Is’ thighs, those embarrassing gurgling sounds boiling in his throat as he sucked a cock, something he’d never done.

  But this was Is. In his mouth, slamming down his throat. This was Is. And Reggie couldn’t stop, didn’t want to stop. He wanted Is to fuck him like this, choke him with it, make him gag and beg and want more. He looked up, into Is’ eyes. They pinned him to the spot, to his knees.

  No sounds except Reggie’s struggles to breathe while refusing to back off Is’ cock. He was fucking huge, pre-cum pouring, melting, flooding Reggie’s mouth, getting him drunk. He fisted himself, pulled on his dick, thrusting rough and hard into his own dry palm, aching for something.

  “Reg. God.” Is was cursing, but he wasn’t stopping and Reggie, he could live with that. He sucked harder, hollowing his cheeks, trying to remember all the shit he’d seen in those porn videos. But they were all gone, wiped away by Is’ smell, his heat, and his cock, heavy and throbbing on Reggie’s tongue. He moved on instinct, on need, doing what his body wanted, bobbing his head, sucking Is deeper.

  “Fuck!” Is gave up trying to pretend, he gave up on holding back and he was using Reggie, fucking him hard, his breath a harsh sound above Reggie’s head,

  He closed his eyes and gave himself up to it, to the feel of his jaw aching, his throat burning, his balls bursting. Is slammed into him and Reggie was done, coming hard as Is did the same. His bitter cum filled Reggie’s mouth, pouring down his throat and making him gag. He spilled into his hand and before Is could pull away, Reggie used his cum-slick fingers to touch him, one finger to his hole, pushing in. He didn’t need permission and he had no finesse. What he did have was a need to get inside Is.

  Is stiffened and cried out, body jerking. Reggie didn’t let him go, not that Is wanted him to, not with the way his fingers sank into Reggie’s shoulders, keeping him steady, holding him still. Reggie gave him two fingers, two of him inside Is. Tight and intensely fucking hot. He blazed, inside out, and the muscles they grabbed Reggie, wrapped around him, molded themselves to him so that all Reggie could do was go in, no retreat, not then. Not with the promise of even more of that heat. He fucked Is and Is took it, took Reggie, panting, crying out in short, hoarse bursts.